So once again the night is sleepless. Funny that at home I say it is the girls that keep me up, here it is the pain. Maybe just maybe it is my own busy mind that can't find that peace and rest. Who knows....
"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Is this really the case? I debate this question with Juliet from work. How I love the so many hours we have spent over the years debating the meaning of life and the like. She believes this statement to be true. I, on the other hand, do not.
If a person is by character not very strong, how can a tragedy or unexpected stressful event make that person stronger? In my case, I am by character a strong person, so does the experience that I am going through have any impact on my strength? I believe not. It is an experience that if I were ever faced with a similar situation ,I would know what to expect, and thus know better how to deal with what lies ahead.
Fear. Fear of the unknown and lack of control is what we all suffer from.
Back to the nuts and bolts of my day. As I only have partial feeling in my fingers and none in my wrist area, they decided to cut 2 inches off the cast, so they can start to work on my hand. My wrist hangs limp. My brain sends a message to the wrist to lift it up and nothing happens. I mean nudda! It is extremly odd and a bit worrying. However, there is hope, cause a few days ago I had no feeling at all in my fingers and slowly, the feeling is returning. Hope hope hope.
As the body is not very mobile, I get an injection every night of blood thinners. I am not sure what they are injecting into me, but this stuff burns like hell!
At physio I am paying the price for being a couch potato the last few years. I now have to do leg lifts with the extra weight of the cast - serves me right!
Didn't get to see the girls today, as it is Eden's end of year party. Wednessday is Kylee's. I know in years to come ( or probably weeks) neither of them will remember that I was not at their parties, but I will remember forever!
So miss sitting with Mark and having our late night talks......you are always in my heart! Love you!
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