I really like the saying," he had to eat humble pie". Well my slice of humble pie has come my way. Of all the things this experience can and may be, it is certainly a humbling experience.
I was listening to one of those self help positive thinking audio cds, and the subject was the ego. In this place, there is no room nor need for ego. When it comes to the crunch, no matter what age, color or gender, we are all here to heal. All ones energy is focused on the body. When there is excitement and a pat on the back because I can dress myself, there is no ego. I over hear a group of teens talking. Not about the summer, the latest music or the hotest trends, but they were encouraging one of the boys to try and walk on his leg/foot. He was nervous, but they persist and insist. There is no ego there. Esty, takes her first steps on crutchers and gets a round of applause, There is no ego there. At OT, I am now managing to pick up the bottle tops and screw them onto the bottles. I get a pat on the back.
The question is, why in our everyday lives, are we not able to let go of the ego and give each other a pat on the back more often?... I really do not have the answer.
Another thing this experience has revealed, is the impression people have of me. It is encouraging to see that most friends and family endorse the fact that I am a strong person. Mentally, I can survive almost anything I believe. My late dad always used to tell me that I could survive in the desert off the smell of an oil rag! How right he was!
Today Juliet called me Ninja - I will do my best to live up to all those images and impressions people have of me!
Back to the ins and outs of the day. Slept till about 4am. Finally got up at 6. The day was filled with OT, xrays, physio and lots of visitors. The girls are just wonderful. I must take my hat off to Mark for being the great dad he is!
When they left, little Kylee pleaded with me to come with them. Heartbreaking to say the least! Instead of getting too emotional, I gently explain to her that as soon as Ima gets stronger and my leg is better, I will be home. She takes Mark's hand and goes off. She leaves me wondering if she understands, and if she accepts things as they are, or if her head is full of confusion. I am afraid it is the later.
Just got interupted by the night nurse for my daily injection of blood thinners. The sides of my waist are covered in bruises from these injections. This I will definitely not miss!!
Not sure if I mentioned that I am on 24 hour pain killer- 2 pills a day and as much Optilgin that one wants....
I am often asked how I pass the time here. I must say that I am not bored at all. A good example of how my fellow wheelers pass the time is pizza night last night. It starts out by a few guys going around asking everyone if they want to join in a pizza. They then spend ther next 2 hours calculating how many people, how much pizza and debating where to order the pizza from. There is much excitement at the thought of experiencing the taste of 'outside'. The pizza arrives an hour late, they forget the drinks and am told that it was not tasty....Such disappointment...BUT, it provides great coversation for a few hours the next morning......And before you know it, the hours turn into days, which turn into weeks, months....and then we will all be HOME!
Tonight I am sending lots of love and hugs to my sister Janine! She is amazing and I am so blessed to have her back in my everyday life!!
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