September 12th - a taste of WOW!

What a great chag, what a great weekend!! I was determined to make it home for the chag and make it home I did! How wonderful to be able to be with Mark and the kids in a normal environment.  To be able to cut up some veggies for the kids, to make a humous sandwich, to fold the washing (well sort of), to go to the loo with kids hanging onto me. To eat amazing food (Mark can cook food to die for), and finally to sleep in my own bed! WOW, WOW, WOW!!!

It was a bit unsettling for the kids though.  They did not understand how long I was there for and if I might disappear in the middle of the night. Mark was the one to console the kids and explain that when it is time for ima to go back to the hospital, they will come with and say goodbye. It is wonderful to see the bond that has been created between Mark and the kids.

On the way to the hospital, my stomach starts to turn. How can I now leave all that is important to me and real to me and go back to the world of broken people?  The reality is, it is for my own longterm good - or so I try and convince myself.

Anyway, it is now 4 days that I have not sat in the wheelchair.  I am determined that way.  When I set my mind to something, there is no going back.  It leads me to think of the progress I have made and  the the stages I have been through.  When I first arrived here, it was my determination that made me get up and out of bed to go to the loo.  The bedpans were a thing that would remain with the hospital - not rehab. Now it is that same determination that keeps me walking, and walking well. 

A while ago, I told my physiotherapist that as soon as I start walking, I will be thinking of running the next week.  She was so shocked that it took me only a few days to walk and manage the stairs, that she said she now believes me and will probably see me running in no time!

I am now spending all my energy and time on my elbow and the nerve damage. Tomorrow is my first visit with the surgeon.  We are all waiting for instructions from him to start to put pressure on the elbow to stretch the arm open and fold the arm.  It is funny that although the EMG test on my nerve was not good at all, it does not bother me at all.  I somehow know that the arm will be fine and the nerve will heal. So the tests are more for the doctors than for me.

The muscles in the arm are all gone.  It is quite frightening to think that after not using the arm for 7 odd weeks, the muscles just simply vanish. I have now decided to eat only with my right hand.  It is not easy, but wonderful for the diet.  I eat very slowly, as it takes forever for the food to reach the mouth.  Also, the arm gets very tired after a few bites and needs to rest.  I tell you i should think of making a device thats limits the usage of the arm and hand for ordinary people wanting to diet!

In the late afternoon I go back to the physio room to do extra excercises.  I tackle the bicycle.  I cycle for 20 minutes, 2.8 kms.  I was finished afterwards.  But it feels great! Tomorrow Marina will show me how to use the hand bicycle.  I think that will be good for the arm.  When I walk, I carry, in my injured hand, a small bottle of water, with maybe 300ml of water.  You have no idea how heavy it is for the arm.  I feel the muscles working non-stop.  It is as if I am carrying 5kgs in one hand. 

The important thing is, I have the mental strength.  With mental strength, all is possible and do-able.  I see it everyday.  The people that feel sorry for themselves for longer than the inital few days of shock, simply do not make the progress that the positive people do.  

Be postive, be strong, and you can conquer your world!!