Woke up with a strange feeling today. A feeling that does not visit me very often ( thank goodness). Enough is enough describes the feeling well. How much more 'savlanut' can a person have I ask? How much slower can one live? It is 2 months now since the accident and I so want to ge back to my life. Now that I am going home on weekends, I get a taste of my life again. Just when I am getting used that sweet taste, boom!, it is over and time to return to the rehab center. It is as if I have 2 lives running on 2 separate tracks and they shall never meet. I just jump from one track to the other. Again when I retun to the center, my tummy turns...
Anyway, I talk with a guy that had a stroke. A very interesting conversation indeed. Although we are in the same rehab center, we are undergoing 2 very different experiences. My rehab is very straight forward really. Broken bones seen in xrays. Healing tracked according to how well the bones heal and the muscles and tendons return to their flexable state. His rehab is very much in the mind. He tells me of his experience when it first happened and how his mind worked fine, but the body would just not react. An interesting thing to note is that most of the men that are here between the ages 50 to 65 are from strokes. Most of the young guys, 18 to 30 are here due to motorbike accidents. Most woman 40+ are here from 'simple' falls.
I am now down to one painkiller a day. I have decided to take it at night as the pain at night is quite intense at times. The arm can not find comfort.
I need to be home. This back and forth is too much for all of us. The girls are confused, and at times so are we. I turn to Louise Hay for inspiration. I try and still the mind. Try and seek the positive thoughts. In the end I find myself here writing. It really helps me release these feelings and thoughts.
I know that tomorrow will be a new day, filled with lots of goodies. But in the meantime, I think I am just gonna let myself feel what I am feeling.
No comments:
Post a Comment